The marauders and the Holy Peanut
by padfootluva
Summary: A spoof on Monty Python and the Holy Grail; using the marauders as my little puppets! Ive had this story on hold for a while, but now... i think you are all ready for it. Also, a preview of Chapter two appears! Yay! arent we excited??


Disclaimer: All Harry Potter Characters belong to J.K Rowling, I'm just borrowing them with out asking, not _stealing_ them. Also, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, probably is owned by Monty Python. I own Bob. Yeah. Rejoice with happiness. Now Monty Python fans, don't let this Fanfic offend you from the fact that the two have almost NOTHING to do with each other, I myself am I big MP fan, as I am a HP fan, and I mixed them unsuccessfully, don't hurt me.

"Mr. Black, would you care to answer the question?" Professor McGonagol asked coldly, giving one of her famous death glares at Sirius.

It was the last class of the day, and it was the last day until Christmas Vacation. All the students had anything but how to transfigure a fork into a chinchilla in there minds. They all just wanted to get out of the class, and on to more important things, like shopping, or going home and drinking butter beer.

"Not really." Sirius answered to McGonagol. "No one cares what to do with there wands, we just want to get out of this hell hole…and I just lost Gryffindor five points, didn't I?" Sirius asked, smiling nervously.

"Ten."

"Even better," Sirius mumbled.

"Mr. Lupin, would you care to answer the question Black just stated he didn't know."

"I know," Sirius blurted out. "I'm just to damn tired to answer."

There was a pause of silence.

"Ten points from Gryffindor this time?" Sirius asked.

"Twenty."

"Great," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Lupin…answer…"

"I suppose I have to answer, what you have to do is make sure you hold your wand tightly with your thumb and…"

There was a rude snore from Sirius' desk.

"Black, I'm warning you…"

"Warning me of what, professor?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Sirius," James mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. "Quit while you're ahead."

"But I'm not…" Sirius reminded James.

"No talking, Mr. Black!"

"You just did," Sirius muttered just a bit too loud. Then he whistled. "And there goes another five points."

"Twenty."

"Bloody hell! Do you just want us to loose the cup?" Sirius asked, shooting up from his desk.

"Forty…"

"You B-" But Remus and James covered their hands over Sirius' mouth before he could get too out of hand.

"Care to finish you're statement, Black?"

"No, I just want to…" Sirius started to break into song, climbing on top of the table. "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, boom boom boom, get down to night."

The whole class knew Sirius had gone too far, based on the slight shade of purple of McGonagol's face.

"Detention, Mr. Black."

"What did I do?" Sirius asked innocently.

"What didn't you do?"

"I want a peanut." James stated out loud.

"Excuse me, Mr. Potter?"

"You heard him, woman! Give him a bloody peanut!" Sirius cried, banging his fist on the table.

"That's it! I can't stand it! Leave!" Professor McGonagol said.

The class quickly rushed out of the door.

"Get out of our way!" Sirius cried, pushing people out of the way. "This guy is in serious need of a peanut!"

"Honestly, Sirius…how much sugar did you have today?" Remus asked,

"Oh, no more than normal, around 10 gallons."

"Where did you get that much of sugar?" James asked, then he pouted. "I want some too."

"It's home made sugar… a bit more green than the normal type of sugar, but it has the same effect."

"I'm sure…" Remus stated.

"I still want my peanut." James said, tears filling up in his eyes.

"That sounded just wrong." Bob said.

"Who's Bob?" Remus asked.

"I dunno, I was getting bored, I needed to introduce a new character." Sirius shrugged.

"You're writing this story?" James asked nervously.

"Duh," Said Bob and Sirius at the same time.

"God, help us."

"Hello, I am God. Go look for a peanut."

"It is clear!" Remus cried. "It is our destiny to find a peanut for Sir Prongs."

"Does anyone else find it weird that God sounded an awful lot like Lily?"

"Shh," Lily said, holding a finger up to her mouth. "I'm the only character left in the marauders time, I had to be God."

"What about Peter?" Bob asked.

"Oh, yeah that's believable, Peter as God… oh the tickets in the box office would just fly off the shelves." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"We're selling tickets?" James asked.

"Oh, shut-up, and look for the bloody peanut. People didn't come here to read a stupid story about nothing, they want you to find a peanut."

"Let's go on a quest for the holy peanut!" James said, full of triumph.

"Yes, Sir Prongs, I think we shall." Remus, or Sir Moony said.

"How do we get there?" Sir Bob asked, scratching his head. "Damn Lice."

"We can take the Hogwarts express!" Sir Prongs cried, raising his sword in the air.

"No! That will take us to Hogwarts…" Sir Padfoot reminded him.

"We're already there."

"No," Sir Bob told him. "We are at Hawaii."

"Hawaii?" Sir Moony asked.

"Yes! I love Hawaii." Sir Padfoot cried, and with a small pop of green dust, he went into a grass skirt.

"Mmm. I look sexy." Sir Padfoot grinned, and again broke into song. "I'm too sexy for my shirt… I'm too sexy for my skirt!"

"Ew…" Exclaimed Sir Prongs. "Sirius… I mean Sir Padfoot is a cross dresser."

With those simple words, the four "Sirs" were warped to a sort of muggy place, where people were crying…

"Cross Dresser! Cross Dresser!"

"No, I'm not!" Sir Padfoot cried. "I'm not a cross dresser!"

"What about your nose! It's a carrot!" A random person cried.

"It's not mine! It's a false one! They put it on me."

"You're dressed like a cross dresser." The random person pointed out.

"They dressed me like this! Besides, it's not a skirt it's a kilt, my family happens to be from Scotland."

"Well, then, what makes you think he's a cross dresser?" The random person, whose name is now Paul asked.

"He turned me into a newt!"

" A newt? Can Cross dressers do that?" Paul asked nervously.

"Yes!"

"So he turned you into a newt?" Paul asked suspiciously.

There was a pause, and the man answered.

"I got better."

"There is only one way to find out if this man…"

"Excuse me I have a name…" Sir Padfoot pointed out, waving his hand impatiently.

"Oh well, there is only one way too find out if this man who has a name is a cross dresser…"

"Yes, we know." Sir Moony interrupted him. "We all saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you ask why cross dressers burn, they say because there made out of wood. Which is stupid because tinfoil can burn, and tinfoil's not made out of wood, then after about seven long hours of randomness, you'll but Sir Padfoot on a scale, with a duck, then you burn him. But frankly, we need Sir Padfoot to find a peanut, so we'll be going now." 

"Buh-bye!" Sir Padfoot cried, waving frantically.

"Wait… can I take the duck?" Sir Prongs asked happily, pointing to a duck on a gold scale.

Bob shrugged.

"Why not?" Bob asked, and went over and took the duck. "Here you go!" He said, handing the duck to Sir Prongs.

"No! The friend of the cross dresser took the duck! KILL HIM!" Paul cried, all of a sudden, he took a torch, and started to chase Bob. 

"Heeeeellllp mmeeeee God!!!!" Bob yelled, running as fast as he could away from Paul.

" I am God," came Lily's voice again. "Go look for a peanut."

"KILL BOB!" The enraged crowd cried.

"No! Help, Knights of the round caldron, help me!"  
"Did someone say something?" Sir Prongs asked, looking around.

"I don't think so…" Sir Padfoot said.

"Oh, come on guys, are we just going to leave Bob to die?" Sir Moony asked.

"It's the only way to transition to the next scene." Sir Prongs said.

"I see… why make Bob get killed because he took a duck? Let's get a murderer!" Sir Moony cried. Immediately, he took a newspaper and looked in the classifies. "Here we are… a murderer we can buy… Voldermort or something"

"All right, One Voldermort, coming up!" Sir Prongs cried, raising his wand. 

"Hold on…" Sir Padfoot said, paused and started to yet again, break into song. "How much is that Voldie in the window? The one with the waggelly wand…"

"Shut- up, Sir Padfoot! It's five bucks."

"What a deal!" Sir Prongs cried.

" Right! Comehereus Voldermortus!"

"Great spell, Sir Padfoot," Sir Moony muttered, rolling his eyes.

"What? It's real…"

"Yeah, sure…" Sir Prongs said sarcastically.

"What do you want, Mortal?" Voldermort asked, taping his foot impatiently.

"Don't give me that Mortal crap." Sir Padfoot cried. "Will you kill Bob for us?"

"I'm busy! Can't you tell."

The three looked at Voldermort, who was wearing a cheer leading skirt, and cheer leading top.

"Cheer leading?" Sir Moony asked, raising a brow.

"What? It's a very athletic sport."

"Help me!" Bob cried again.

"Give me five bucks and I'll kill him," Voldermort said, putting his hand out.

"Here," Sir Prongs said, reaching in his pockets. 

"Thank you," Voldermort grinned. "See ya!" He started to run out the gate (don't ask me where the gate come from, it's just there) but he stopped by the crowd.

"A cross dresser!" Paul cried, pointing at Voldermort.

"No!" Voldermort cried. "You've caught me!"

"Seize him!" The crowd cried, and chased Voldermort out of the scene. Bye-bye!

"I am in debt to you," Sir Bob said, falling to his knees, praising the three.

Sir Padfoot grinned.

"Keep the praising coming…" Sir Padfoot cried.

"Don't praise us! Praise Lily… I mean God!" Sir Moony cried.

"Thank you God!" Sir Bob cried.

"I am God, go look for a peanut."

"It is clear!" Sir Moony cried. "We should buy the peanut!"

"I gave my last Knuts to Voldie," Sir Prongs pouted. "And I still want a peanut."

"How are we gonna get some money?" Sir Moony asked.

The green flash of light came again, and sucked the four into a portal, bringing them to a muddy, dirty land.

"Bring Out Your Dead!" A man cried.

"Why?" Sir Prongs asked. "Are they going to dress them up in ballet costumes, and have a party with the dead, them drinking tea, and eating crumpets. Oh, and little scones, dipped in sugar… yum." Sir Prongs squealed, and smacked his lips.

"I think we're in the olden days, yes I'm sure of it." Sir Moony cried. "And in the olden days, people paid money for peoples dead."

"Interesting way of raising money," Sir Prongs decided.

"Quite."

"I like lemonade sales, personally." Sir Padfoot mumbled.

"Yes, but I suppose if you give always your dead your home wont reek as much."

"Hey! Sir Bob's dead!" Sir Padfoot cried. 

"No, I'm not," Sir Bob said.

"We have dead!" The three cried, waving there hands in the air.

"I'm not dead, I feel fine."

"No, you don't, you'll be stone dead in a moment."

"That part isn't supposed to come till later, Sir Padfoot." Sir Moony pointed out.

"What? But I wanna say it now." Sir Padfoot pouted.

"You have to wait, Sir Padfoot."

"I don't want to!" Sir Padfoot screamed, and started to run around screaming. "You'll be stone dead it a moment! Do you hear me? STONE DEAD!"

Sir Moony and Sir Prongs grinned and started to sing.

"Everyone wants to get stooooooooned."

"Wanna know who's really stoned?" Sir Bob asked.

"You! Because you're stone dead!" Sir Padfoot said, and tilted back his head, starting to laugh insanely.

"He's bonkers." Sir Bob said, rolling his eyes.

"At least I'm not dead!"

The man who was collecting the dead came up to the four and grinned.

"Do you have dead?"

Sirius grinned.

"Yes, right here."

"I'm not dead." Sir Bob cried.

"He's not dead." The dead collector decided.

"Not yet, but he's extremely sick." Sir Padfoot said.

"That's not how the movie goes." Sir Moony snapped.

"Oh, sod off, Sir Moony…"

"I'm not sick, I'm getting better." Sir Bob said

Sir Padfoot grinned.

"Ha! Sir Moony! I get to say my line! Don't I? Don't I? Kneel to my power for I can say my line! I have POWER!"

"Sir Padfoot, take a chill pill." Sir Prongs said.

"No!" Sir Padfoot cried, and turned to the dead collector. "Say no to drugs."

The three rolled their eyes.

"I can do that too." Sir Padfoot whined. 

"Do what?" Sir Moony asked.

"Roll my eyes see…" Sir Padfoot answered, and started to roll his eyes, but one eye went the one way, while the other went another way.

"That's disturbed, Sir Padfoot." Sir Prongs decided. 

"You guys are loony." The Dead collector stated.

"Oh! Speaking of Loony… do we get to do the Black Knight scene? Do we? Huh? Huh? DO we?" Sir Padfoot asked the two, jumping up and down.

"I suppose, if we get through with this bloody scene."

"Right… right…" Sir Padfoot agreed, nodding his head. "But when we do do the Black Knight scene…" Sir Padfoot stopped and grinned. "Can I be the Black Knight?"

"Er…" Sir Moony said. "But, you are already on the quest,"

"But I wanna be the black knight!" Sir Padfoot whined.

"You Loon, you can't be the b-" but Sir Prongs was cut of by the dead collector.

"Right… do you have the dead or not?"

"Right, here you are." Sir Prongs said, handing him Bob.

"I'm not dead!"

Sir Moony put his head in his hands with a groan.

"That's not how it goes!"

"Hold on… how did Sir Moony do that?" Bob asked.

"What?"

"Did he just like take his head of his neck?" Sir Bob asked.

"Um… No." Sir Prongs answered.

"I'm almost positive he just did…" 

"I did not take my head off, Sir Bob." Sir Moony answered.

"If you did…" The dead collector said. "You'd be dead! I'm sure only dead can decapitate themselves… I'd pay money to see a non-head…dead person."

"Hey… yeah! We can run one of those freak show things!" Sir Padfoot cried. 

"I will not be in a freak show, Sir Padfoot," Sir Moony said, rolling his eyes. "Nor will I ever take my head off."

"Well this is demented." Sir Prongs said. "Why are we talking about dead and non dead people?"

"Actually, we're more talking about head and non-head people." Sir Bob pointed out.

"Oh shut-up. Nobody likes you Sir Bob." Sir Padfoot hissed. "And we know your secret."

"My s-s-secret?" Sir Bob stuttered. "W-what secret."

Sir Moony raised his brow.

"We know your real name."

"No!" Sir Bob cried. "Not my real name!" 

"Yes," Sir Padfoot said dramatically. "We know you're NAME!"

"It's to awful to speak, just to awful." Sir Prongs said, shaking his head.

Sir Bob fell to his knees.

"I can't handle it! I'll tell, I'll tell!" Sir Bob said, bawling. "My name is… no I cant say it…"

Sir Padfoot tapped his foot impatiently. 

"I'm waiting."

"It's Sue, okay, Sue! I told my parents that it was a girl name, but they wouldn't believe me… Sue!"

"Sue? Dude, I didn't know that." Sir Padfoot said, eyes lighting up. "That's damn funny."

The four laughed for a while.

"Right, well this is boring, let's leave to a new scene." Sir Moony cried, and with a 'Spoam', they disappeared. Yes you heard me… with a 'Spoam'!

Yeh! Scene One is done!!!!! Let's see, I cant quite remember what the next scene in the movie is, so help me by reviewing!

Since this Fanfic is already quite different from the movie, I'm just writing spoofs on different skits in the Holy Grail in no particular order, because ::whispers:: I don't know the order… SHHHH it's a secret! So, here's scene two, my personal favorite, the black Knight!

FIVE (beep)

FOUR (beep)

THREE (beep)

TWO (beep)

ONE (beep)

"What was that?" Sir Prongs asked, as the four fell from the sky into the woods.

"I believe Padfootluva called it a Spoam." Sir Moony replied, eating his thumb. (He was hungry… don't ask)

"Yes, I heard the sound…" Sir Prongs told him. "But where did the Spoam bring us?"

Sir Padfoot looked around, as his eyes fell on a bridge. (Not literally, his eyes are still connected to his head… I think.) and they lit up with excitement.

"Yes." He whispered. "Yes… yes… yes!"

Sir Bob looked curiously at Sir Padfoot.

"What's so yessy, Sir Padfoot?"

"It's the Black Knight Bridge…"

The three remaining sirs groaned at his statement.

"No…"

"YES!"

"Sir Padfoot… I already told you, you can't be the Black Knight."

"Puh-leeeeeeeeaaaaaase?"

"That was too many e's and a's in Please, Sir… I mean lady Padfootluva." Sir Moony pointed out.

"Oh, sorry. Let me start over."

"No problem." Sir Moony sighed.

"Puh-lease?"

"Better, Lady Padfootluva, better."

I bow and return to my computer, kicking off the hedgehog whose trying to take over my story… Sir Hedgie.

And so the scene starts again…

"No. Sir Padfoot, you can not be the Black…"

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay!" Sir Prongs cried.

"What?" Sir Moony asked, eyeing Sir Prongs thinking maybe he needed the peanut more than he thought… for sanity reasons.

"Well, if you think about it, how fun would it be to chop off Sir Padfoots arms?"

"Oh no you don't. Have you ever heard of Stunt Doubles, Sir Prongs, I would not chop my own precious arms off… I love them too much."

"Stunt Double? Hold on… whose going to be the Stunt Double?" Sir Bob asked nervously.

"Not you Sir Bob… we need you for later reasons."

"What are those?"

"Reasons that come up later."

"Such as…"

"Later Reasons."

Then Sir Woogie (Wormtail) comes flying in on wires, held up by Dumbledore. Sir Woogie fell on his fat ass landing in front of the four sirs. 

"Okay… fine! You convinced me, I'll be you're stunt man!" Sir Woogie cried, rubbing his butt.

"Sir Woogie, you look nothing like me!" Sir Padfoot cried.

"Well, yes, but have you seen computer technology lately? Wow… it is good."

"Sir Woogie, I don't think you get it, one of the most funniest parts of Monty Python and the Holy Grail is the fact that it has such cheap technology." Sir Moony cried.

"Do… Not… Care. I can say that in Seven different languages. Want to hear?" Sir Prongs asked.

"No… I do not care. He he, what fun to say that." Sir Bob sighed.

Then I came in, with red suspenders and a jewel on my left ear; I was also holding Sir Hedgie, with gloves mind you, it really hurts when you hold hedgehogs with out gloves.

My gloves were and still are blue.

"Ok, Sirs… we are getting way…way… off topic." I told them, shaking my head. "And, I too agree Sir Woogie looks nothing like my charming Sir Padfoot." I winked at him. "But I really, really need to see Sir Woogie's arm just flying into space with ketchup spluttered everywhere… see that's my idea of perfect bliss. So, Sir Moony, you have to go off stage, and eat a donut or something… Sir Bob, you need to shave your head and Sir Prongs, you stay there… you're in this scene, so is Sir Padfoot and Sir Woogie, you're the stunt man. Okididi?" 

They all nodded because I made them in my story, because I have control. Not Sir Hedgie.

"Ready, Black Knight… take UNO!" That's un for those who don't know Spanish, and for those who don't speak French Un means E. Non Japanese people, E means one, and if you don't know English, you really shouldn't be reading this story in the first place. Okay? Good. 

Sir Prongs walked happily, searching for Knights of the round table, he has no one so far, even though he really does. He decided taking the bridge in front of him would help.

He walked half way up the bridge until stopped by a man in a Salad dressing bottle. 

"Non Shall Pass." Says the Salad Knight.

"Please… erm.." Sir Prongs started to whisper. "Lady Padfootluva, I don't know my lines."

"Okay…" I started. "Just make it up, mainly ask Sir Padfoot to be one of your knights… and you Sir Padfoot say…"

"NON SHALL PASS!" Sir Padfoot cried.

"Exactly, ready? Aim! Action!"

"I thought it was fire."

I groaned at Sir Padfoot's power to be so exceedingly idiotic. Exceedingly is my new favorite word.

"I know a joke about fire… okay there were three people about to get killed ok… and so one says…"

"Sir Padfoot, shut-up and Sir Moony eat your donut!!!"

"I don't like donuts…"

"I don't care… wow, Sir Bob you were right that's fun to say!"

"NONE SHALL FRIGGIN PASS!"

"Sir Padfoot… that wasn't your cue… is that how you spell cue?" I asked.

"No…" Sir Hedgie says. Actually I translated what Sir Hedgie says, because he speaks hedgehog so it sounded like "Hep." But I speak hedgehog, so I told you that Sir Hedgie says, "No."

"Let me type for you." Sir Hedgie continues.

I look at him unnerved, Sir Hedgie isn't a very good writer, if I let him touch this story he might make it even more sucky. 

"Fine." I sighed.

"Ok, so you say Sir Padfoot… that wasn't your Q…"

"Thank you, Sir Hedgie, now can I have my story back?"

"No, (Hep) I'm taking your story hostage."

"Oh no." I said with absolutely no feeling. "Say it aint so."

"But it is!!!!!"

"Then why am I still typing?" I asked.

Sir Hedgie paused.

"Cuz."

"And this is why I don't let you near my story."

"It isn't your story anymore," Sir Hedgie reminded me. "I took it."

"Right, and I'm absolutely heart broken."

"You should be." Hedgie retorted, still in his heps. 

"This is so bizarre!" Sir Moony cried, through a mouth full of doughnuts that were being stuffed in his mouth by little purple dwarves.

"Bizarre? No! That is not correct spelling! Bazaar is spelt HRRGNFGHNFK!" Sir Hedgie cried, running around in circles. I ponder whether all the running is good for my hedgehogs health… once I'm done with my pondering, I give the rodent a hamster wheel.

"Bazaar is not spelt H-R… or however you spelt it!" Sir Prongs cried.

Sir Hedgie looked taken aback.

"It isn't? And I suppose you would know, Mr. I need a peanut."

Sirius… or… er did I give him a new name? Yes, ah, the Sir deal… Sir…Padfoot laughed insanely, and grinned largely. Very largely. Big Mac, largely.

"Does Sir Prongie need a peanut? You lacking in the nut department?"

Blink Blink. Nobody seemed to understand the boys sick twisted humor, except for Gutter Mind Girl, Lady… me. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

I laughed so hard that I started to foam at the mouth, frightening the few lima beans that escaped for prison.

"No! The lima beans escape!!! NONE SHALL PASS!!!!!" Sir Moony cried.

"Sir Moony? Burn in tomato soup, that's my line!!!!" Sir Padfoot pouted.

"Well, yes, but I finished my donut, and I was a bit bored, and I saw the line just lingering there, waiting to be said and all… and… well, I said it."

Sir Padfoot shrugged.

"Okay."

Sir Bob decided it was his turn to say something. He said something.

"I say something." Was the something he said.

Sir Padfoot decided to reply with something. He replied with something.

"I reply with-"

"Something?" Sir Prongs asked.

"Er… yeah." He admitted. "Am I that predictable?"

"No, I just already read the story… Sir Bob dies in the end, you know."

Sir Bob's eyes swelled to the size of his face.

"I do?" Sir Bob asked

Sir Prongy Wongy looked at Sir Bob, remorse in his face. He twitched, smirked, and…

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! FOOLED YA! HAHAHAHA"

And he was taken away for insanity.

"But, But… he was our Sir Watchamacalit, now whose gonna cross my bridge?" Sirius asked askingly. Hehe, I just used the same word for different parts of speach, hehe. 

"I will!" Said Sir Prongs clone, Sir Prongs number two.

"Sir Prongs? Is that you?" Sir moony asked, eyeing the clone.

"There's only one way to find out!" Sir Bob pointed out. "And that is…"

"SMELLING HIS BUTT!" Sir Padfoot laughed.

"That's correct! You win a brand new car!" Sir Bob cried, giving Sir Padfoot high five.

"I don't feel like smelling Sir Prong's buttocks, thank you," Sir Moony answered. Considering he said the word "buttocks" I was forced to transform him into the nerd he was just meant to be. That's right folks! I GAVE SIR MOONY A POCKET PROTECTOR! 

"Stylish." Sir Padfoot admitted. "May I have one?"

"No." I spat. Literally, bodily fluid shot out of my mouth. It was green.

"The mouth, or the fluid?" Sir Bob asked curiously.

"I'm a clone, don't eat me." Sir Prongs number two interupted.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sir Padfoot cried, hiding his Sir Prongs number two-barbecue sauce. Mmm, saucy!

"SEXY BEAST!" In popped Austin Powers.

"NONE SHALL PASS!" Sir Padfoot yelled. He decided that was, again, very enjoyable, and groovy, so he did it again.

"AK! STOP WITH THE NONE SHALL PASS'!" I yelled as I swam in strawberry jelly with Sir Bob and Moony.

"Oops," Sir Padfoot said sheepishly. "I did it again."

"Do you want to wear a jump suit, Sir Moony?" I asked him happily, bored with Sir Padfoot, and the clone of Prongy Prongs.

Sir Moony paused for a moment, looking as though he may disregard my insane comment.

"What color?" He inquired.

"Pink," I said happily. "But a very manly pink."

Sir Moony pondered for a moment more, as Sir Prongs number two shaved his eyebrows with a cucumber.

"All right, I will wear the jump suit."

"Cool," I gurgled. 

"She gurgled?" Sir Padfoot asked, while in the background, Sir Moony could be seen exchanging his knight armor for a pink jump suit. Mmm… naked werewolf, yummy!

Sir Padfoot coughed twice.

"Oh sorry, you're yummy too…" I took a second hostage to look at Sir Moony. "Much more yummy than Sir Moony, actually, but I cant be sure unless…" I handed Sir Padfoot a pink jump suit. "I need to compare you both in a jump suit."

"Am I yummy?" Sir Prongs number two asked sadly.

"You're name consists of the words "number two". No, you are not yummy." Sir Non yummy went off crying, leaving us, again, prongless.

"Now, you Sir Bob…" I grinned. "Are very, very yummy!" I wrapped my arms around Sir Bob, and hopped on his lap, preparing for make out, and then… God came into my life.

"I am God, get off the boy, and look for a peanut."

"But I found a peanut!" I laughed, eyeing Sir Bob. 

"BLASPHEMY!"


End file.
